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What's in it for me?



You may be familiar with the sad figures showing that few readers make it to the end of the article, but the returns are even more diminishing on how many readers make it past the first paragraph. To start strong is your best hope to hook the reader and keep him or her interested throughout.


The first few sentences, or the lead, which is spelled “lede” among journalists, should match the overall tone of the article. You don’t want to shamelessly hook readers only to show them a few sentences on that you can’t keep up that kind of pace.


Think about writing the way you think about telling a good story. Leave out the insignificant, boring parts (but not necessarily the details) and let readers know early on there’s something in it for them, whether it’s information that will affect their lives or even if it’s just a good story about a subject they are interested in and can relate to. No matter which style you choose, take William Strunk and E.B. White’s advice and “write in a way that comes naturally.”


Check out these suggestions:


Scene-setting lede:
Details will make the sentence appeal to the senses:
Use this for feature stories, when conveying vital information is not an objective of the piece.
Large men in small white paper hats work past midnight six nights a week in a cavernous, brightly lit warehouse. It may look like an assembly line, but these workers are doing more than punching a clock. They’re highly trained specialists whose job it is to eat, sleep, and breathe doughnuts. Literally.


Quotes
Journalists usually don’t like this one, but it can be effective if it’s a really good quote or it’s spoken by a very important source:
“ Running this company is a lot like being in the Mafia…,” said President and CEO Michael Corleone.


Just the Facts
Also known as the inverted pyramid, this style’s only style is to get as much of the important information as possible into the first sentence:
Because of poor returns this year, the company will be closing its doors, packing its bags, and leaving on the first train out of town.


Keep your paragraphs short and don’t overstate your point
If you break up a single paragraph, say, 11 lines long into approximately three separate paragraphs, the chunk of text won’t look so impassable when the reader gives it his or her first quick glance (and it will be quick, so don’t scare them away by making it look like they need the mental readiness for “War and Peace”). While you want your paragraphs short and sweet, they also must flow nicely into one another. If you express a simple idea in one paragraph, as well as one thought per sentence, there is no need to find alternate ways to say the same thing. A common practice is to make a point then restate it in someone else’s words. In a newsletter, space is tight, your writing should be, too.


Don’t Perpetuate the Corporate Vernacular of the Boardroom in your Newsletter
When writing or editing, we try to sound like we know what we’re talking about. Coming across as a credible source is indeed important for communicating to fellow employees or prospective and existing clients. However, asserting verbal authority in your newsletter works in theory, but sometimes it can only harm your case when you put it down in print.


• Examples of what we’re talking about?
Check out these two:
Are you using the pronoun “myself” correctly? Hint: it cannot be a subject, like this: The President and myself have reached an agreement. Myself is a reflexive pronoun and is only used when you have previously used the subjective pronoun, “I,” in the sentence: I myself don’t understand how that reflexive pronoun can sound like a subject.


Also, the word “facilitate” sounds important, but almost immediately assumes the writer is a stuffed-shirt. It means to assist or to make easier but has been used to mean initiate or begin and even sometimes to mean roughly the opposite of its true definition, to be in charge of.


You don’t need these fancy words to make you sound smart, anyway. Like E.B. White wrote, “Do not be tempted by a twenty-dollar word when there is a ten-center handy, ready and able.”

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